Well hello there….. Ever wonder exactly where you were at a particular
moment and then realize it was nowhere special? Me neither. Just thought
I’d ask….. Been a little while since you’ve heard from me, and I’ve got
nothing useful to say, so goodbye. Just kidding. I just realized that
I had been such a slacker that I’d not put the last two rants on tombiro.com
- what is my problem? I’m like…. behind or something. Ewww.
Lots of good dirt to throw around…. Have you seen these articles with
like famous people dissing the President? I mean, I think he’s a dolt too,
but does Jennifer Aniston’s comments about him in Rolling Stone really do
the world any great justice.. Like, seriously, who gives a @#$! what she
thinks about George W. Bush. All I know is, the dumb ass bastard traded
Sammy Sosa for like some washed up old dude who couldn’t hit a home run
anymore if it smacked him in the face.
So Gary Condit is slowing down a little in the news, finally…. Although
this week I heard, after my Monday afternoon kayaking experience, that he
had some sort of like “death squad” thingy where if he were to die while
having sex with one of those ugly chicks that keep coming out in the news,
that they were to call some secret number and they would dispose of his
body…… Do you think they’d make it look like a suicide and put him
on a park bench in downtown DC? Oops, sorry, been done before… But seriously
- people are always saying “That Gary Condit’s just not that good looking,
what do these women see in him…?” Have you seen any of these women?
They’re not exactly modeling for Victoria’s Secret anytime soon….. But
I digress.
So football starts this week – you know what that means…… Umm. I dunno,
what does that mean? Oh yeah, I’ll be mooching satellite dish access so
I can watch my beloved Raiders kick some ass. Madd props go to Hazlet Tom
on this one – I have to code them by towns now, because I know so many…..
I mean seriously, it’s bad enough that he actually named his kid TJ, because
he knew that his real name spoken out loud would just cause mass confusion
and hysteria. Okay, maybe he just thought it was cool. I’m also going
to see John Mellencamp on Friday night…. Should be pretty cool…. No
“cougar” though, so I don’t know what is up with that….
So I’m still making these playlist things on uplister (http://www.uplister.com)
and have made it all the way up to #118 all time – I’m kind of stuck there….
Kind of frustrating – it’s like being able to golf under 100….. It’ll
happen eventually, but for right now I’m annoyed about it… At least I’ve
not hit any drivers in the fairway yet… FORE!
So what is up with H-P
purchasing Compaq? Like who woke up and thought that was a good idea?
“hmmm, our company is sucking royally – which washed up PC maker can we
buy today – Dell…nope, too good, Gateway? nope, they suck really bad…..
Comcrap… Yeah, that’s the ticket – in fact, let’s stock swap, and screw
everyone over…” Doesn’t the concept of a stock swap sound kinda amusing…
It’s not totally literal, but it’s like, “hey bob, here’s my shares – give
me some of yours!” and like, then you just have each other’s stuff…
Not quite, but hey, if you’re not up on this stuff, the financial news has
to sound really dumb….
So I’ve been reading the Wall Street Journal….. I just don’t get the
fact that it doesn’t have a crossword puzzle…. What kind of crap is that?
I mean, seriously….. “what’s a three letter word for annoying ass agency
who doesn’t seem to know what they want to do” ooh ooh i know, I know -
FED… HAHAHAHAHA.
So I’ve determined why people spend so much money
on shoes…. Because you have to wear them on your feet, and bad cheap
shoes suck royally! I seriously need to purchase some new footwear, and
am determined to not spend $226234100410340134002658250100134 at Cole Haan.
What is up with that…… Like, I can hear someone’s Grandpa saying “that’s
how they get ya!” right this moment…….
Speaking of the Wall St. Journal – there was actually an article today about
guys shaving their chests…. Ummm… Did I miss something? Anyway.
So I guess I’ll move on to something interesting…. Time for a top 10
list or whatever… These are just today’s random thoughts…
10. In like 50 years, will Jerry Lewis hold a “Poke-thon” for abandoned
creatures like Pikachu and Drowzee?
9. Can you get hammered if you have too many Beer Nuts?
8. Is there anything that DOESN’T cause cancer?
7. Where do new words come from? Are there like elves somewhere who come
up with them while they’re waiting for the cookies to come out of the oven?
6. How long will it take for people to realize that going to college IS
NOT all about pedigree….?
5. Does anyone REALLY think that “End of the Road” makes a good prom song?
It’s about dead people!
4. What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
3. Does anyone REALLY think the Yankees won’t win the World Series this
year?
2. Are Starsky and Hutch copying Bo & Luke Duke, or is it the other way
around……
1. If an electric train is going east at 50 miles an hour, and another
electric train is going west at 60 miles an hour, how many ducks can you
get in a row?
Hope you enjoyed this little venture into silliness, and go back to your
wonderful jobs, lives, and fleur de lis gathering states of mind…. Later!